great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
