so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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