If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I intend to get homeless drunk
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
