you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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