Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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