Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
they're like a gay fantastic four
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
