D3 body, D1 cock
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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