I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
