with your own penis?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
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Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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