she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
