i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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