Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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