You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
