38 yer olds are good kisserssss
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
