i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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