Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
