just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
