billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
