Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.