Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral

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(575): View more from New Mexico

She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!

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(561): View more from Florida

No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south

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(904): View more from Florida

so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination

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(708): View more from Illinois

Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.

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(516): View more from New York

you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..

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