Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow