I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
