do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
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i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
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I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.