you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer