Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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