I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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