My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
