carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
