we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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