You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
