I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
