by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Who died my cat blue again?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
