I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
