wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize