I wish my penis had an off switch
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
