We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
