I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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