he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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