I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize