Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
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he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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