I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
