my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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