he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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