so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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