if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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