and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
