So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
