Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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