Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
