Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
