Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
