ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
