FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
