Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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