Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
