Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?

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  (612): he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper (952): Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it? http://tfl.nu/ydx5
  Replies (9) Good night (969) Bad night (3897)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"

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  (585): i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in" http://tfl.nu/uuti
  Replies (6) Good night (4432) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.

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  (732): He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it. http://tfl.nu/hjdx
  Replies (79) Good night (9291) Bad night (2907)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.

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  (914): i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday. http://tfl.nu/f71h
  Replies (19) Good night (4835) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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  (310): So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes http://tfl.nu/3hm9
  Replies (50) Good night (9148) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone

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  (646): He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone http://tfl.nu/7e7m
  Replies (13) Good night (5828) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.

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  (505): i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to. http://tfl.nu/elff
  Replies (3) Good night (2659) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice

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  (920): its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice http://tfl.nu/sbu6
  Replies (16) Good night (4731) Bad night (1433)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely

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  (610): yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely http://tfl.nu/qwih
  Replies (7) Good night (2929) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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  (941): Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass? http://tfl.nu/sdtw
  Replies (4) Good night (1824) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities

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  (925): Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities http://tfl.nu/6vqv
  Replies (9) Good night (1612) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.

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  (248): Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents. http://tfl.nu/4qnq
  Replies (6) Good night (2533) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.

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  (508): Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country. http://tfl.nu/6o4g
  Replies (16) Good night (1077) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit

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  (907): who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit http://tfl.nu/vaby
  Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  To be fair I was thirsty

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"

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  (780): You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar (1-780): To be fair I was thirsty (780): When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!" http://tfl.nu/ztbw
  Replies (1) Good night (810) Bad night (358)

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