I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever