she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
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I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...