I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
