Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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