I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
