And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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