sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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