I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
