are you so shy because you have an std?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
