awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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